“You stupid, dumb fool! What have you done?”
How often do you talk to yourself like that?
We can get so used to talking this way, we don’t notice how often we do it.
Most of us are so brutal to ourselves in thought over so many years, we lose touch with what it’s like to be genuinely at ease in our souls.
You’ve heard of all the ‘cures:’
Meditation, affirmations, exercise, hypnosis, pills, sleeping more, and therapy.
Let’s keep it simple.
When we spend our lives thinking things that put us down; when we replay ugly memories and focus on what isn’t working, our reality is literally being moulded into a colourless form of hell.
We become what we repeatedly think. We put into motion on what we dwell.
Those thoughts, obsessively replayed, and revisited, dictate how you behave, how you hold yourself, and how you experience the texture of life.
Do you repeatedly think of the world as a terrible, frightening place? Then your visions will be granted.
How would you act in such a world?
This is a two-way system. Your environment will respond to how you behave within it, reinforcing your running theme.
Be a positive life force, and your world will wobble itself into alignment with you, appearing vivid and joyful.
Think of yourself as inept, and reality will impose itself brutishly.
Bleak thoughts cloud your mind and your world in darkness.
But you cannot turn OFF darkness. The dark is merely the absence of light.
In the same way, negative thinking cannot be forced shut. It is the absence of thinking about what’s good.
The solution lies in focusing on what is good.
Mantras are repeated phrases used in meditations, and they can be adopted into everyday consciousness.
“I love myself.”
“I believe in myself.”
“I am more connected to others than I think.”
“I am a good person.”
We can obsessively think about what isn’t good, or we can obsessively think about what is good. That is the choice that can change everything. It’s so simple, and it holds the solution for so many.
The more obsessive your negative thoughts, the more obsessive we need to be in the positive.
Flood your thinking with good thoughts continually. Whenever you remember, say your mantra or various phrases. That is how to lift yourself out of a shadowy world.
I was reminded of this idea in Kamal Ravikant’s book: ‘Love yourself like your life depends on it’. He’s one of the few people who has dared to show us the almost comical simplicity of the solution.
Tell yourself you love yourself. That’s all you need. Experiment with other encouraging phrases.
Mantras become visions that get absorbed into your reality-defining subconscious. Do it repeatedly. Be unreasonable and ridiculous with how you pile the light onto the dark.
Repeat good mantras and positive affirmations to yourself whenever you can. Out loud and silently.
Read Kamal’s book.
You might be thinking — like I did — that doing this is ludicrous, and not natural. Well, neither is thirty-plus years of calling yourself an idiot. That negative self-talk needs a counter-weight. And we do this with positive self-talk.
Telling yourself that you love yourself will be a challenge to start because you’re not used to it. And it will feel stupid. It will also be challenging to keep it going. That will be the hardest. Doing it every hour of every day. Difficult yet supremely simple.
‘Being positive’ gets a bad rap because some see it as deluded and unrealistic.
There is a difference between being ‘positive’ to the point of neglecting your issues and being positive to lift yourself and others up to better deal with a problem.
Think about those who comforted the men beside them during the Great War. Were they deluded, or were they brave in the face of unimaginable terror?
Nothing has changed in this regard. Monsters encroach all of us. All we have is the choice to lift ourselves up or to succumb to victimhood — to letting those monsters in.
Choose to lift yourself up.
Reverse the painful and distressing pathways you’ve built for yourself in the tapestry of your mind.
Say enough good things to yourself, and new pathways will form. Don’t worry when you slip. Just start with self-warmth now. Like any habit — those actions will become more and more automatic.
When you fill your consciousness with positive ideas, you will deny negative thoughts the opportunity to emerge and be ruminated on.
And — like with any habit — the warning is the same: don’t stop. You will do this when you’re in a low place and feel lifted. But don’t stop when you’re high again. This is the time you need to repeat your mantras more than any.
I did this years ago and then stopped, and then got depressed. This happens when things go well, and you don’t feel as much urgency. But like any habit, it must be done all the time.
Many of us suffer when we don’t do things that seem too risky. We are filled with shame and regret. Most of our excuses are unfounded. We become avoidant, and we lose out on many of life’s better moments.
This is unacceptable. I have missed out on a lot this way. All because of my own self-imposed barriers.
What we need if we are struggling, lifting ourselves out of our ‘sunken place,’ is a cushion — something to give us a sturdier baseline that helps us see what we are capable of — something that helps us feel — even if fleetingly — that there is magic in this world.
Use the simple tool of speaking good things to yourself, even if you don’t believe the words. And do it a lot. It is a continual practice. With persistence, you will start to feel it.
You will sense a new strength running through you. This is how to build that cushion.
With time, you will wonder how you were so blind to bliss.
If you have 10.9 seconds, I’d love to hear what you think, in the comments below.
What makes you come alive?
Originally published at alexmathers.net on December 27, 2018.