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This is the main reason I’ve learned women lose respect for men

Alex Mathers
3 min readNov 7, 2023


One of the most insidious forms of stress for men is women issues.

Maybe you’re not getting the respect you think you deserve. Perhaps she’s giving you an unending barrage of drama.

Maybe she doesn’t seem as attracted.

I know how emasculating this feels.

For whatever reason, I have taken on the role of councillor for many of my male friends around girl issues. I do this as a coach too. Hundreds of hours spent discussing female nature and relationship dynamics helped me make sense of our shared challenges as men.

Many relationship gurus spend a lot of time telling us the tips, hacks and steps they must take to ‘get better with’ women.

They talk about game, seduction tips, how to use dominant body language, etc.

These can be helpful, but most of this is superficial and gets men in their heads, making them even weirder and on edge.

I’ve learned that, although women can often appear complicated, it doesn’t require much to maintain long-term harmony in a relationship, whether casual or more serious.

It has more to do with what you DON’T do than what clever tricks you use.

The common thread I see again and again with men who struggle is this one thing:

They take things personally.

Essentially, this comes from a perception of lack in one’s own abilities and self-worth.

We perceive ourselves as inadequate in some way and compensate by attempting to protect something that cannot be protected.

We get defensive. We take things seriously. We become moody. We get angry if someone doesn’t reciprocate when we wished they would. We become needy when she pulls away.

When we do this, guess what?

We communicate our sense of perceived lack. Women know this. They feel it.

No matter how much she does these things herself, she will lose attraction and respect for a man that exhibits this.

The real kicker is that all this is happening based on creating an illusion about who we think we are.