The subtle art of listening (and why you need this in your life)

Alex Mathers
5 min readDec 6, 2023

Take a moment when you can to observe people in discussion.

Maybe you’re in a coffee shop or eavesdropping on a couple at a restaurant. Are they really listening? Like really, really listening to one another?

In most cases, we find people who, at best, respond to the surface level of what was said.

Often, people are just waiting their turn to speak having spent the last few seconds thinking of something clever or witty to say next.

It’s as if most discussions are floating around on the surface level, while all the mysteries of the deep are left untouched and pristine beneath.

But you can see this as a good thing. Why? Because it allows so many of us to stand out and to allow our conversations to move in fresh and unique directions.

It gives you the chance to connect more deeply with another human, which is an alien experience for many.

We live such predominantly fake lives because so many of us are scared of one another and what others might think. And so we skip all the juicy stuff.

We pass over the opportunity to connect deeply in a way that is nourishing for the soul.

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