The nourishing energy found in loving everything

It can hurt when stress curls its knotted fingers around our necks.

But boy does it get easier when we see that those hands on our throats are our own.

Instead of it being the things that happen to us that create stress, it is our very resistance to those things that set it in motion.

Unnecessary and prolonged anxiety; frustration; anger, fear and mental anguish. They are here coursing through us because of us.

We permit it to be this way.

We are our very resistance.

Life, in this way, is not hard. It is our resistance that makes it hard.

When I ruminate and stew over an upcoming social gathering I don’t want to go to, I suffer because I think in circles. The event and the people within it have no impact on my suffering at all.

It is the thought I hold in my head about how hard the event will be that makes it hard. The thought alone sets off a reaction involving nerves and chemicals that makes me feel stress.

My emotional experience is a product of the dancing and provocative pictures in my mind.

That’s not to say we can’t switch off our emotional reaction to stimuli, but it does mean that we can manage it and see irrational fears and stresses diminish.

It would make sense, then, that to navigate our lives with more ease and flow, requires us to let go of the thoughts that create resistance in us.

We need to let go of ourselves.

What will serve us is to find the courage to turn away from trying to control our reality via thought, towards conscious awareness of reality as it really is.

I’ve talked about our need to redirect attention away from ourselves through turning our attention to others.

If you’re suffering, get out of your mind and stop making it about you. You are completely insignificant…

…And yet at the same time, you are entirely significant…when you put yourself to good use.

One of those uses is in giving and finding ways to continually improve the lives of the people who matter to you.

This has brought me tremendous relief.

It’s why I create and serve and coach as much as I do.

Instead of getting wrapped up in fixing ourselves, we need to spend more of our time in the service of others; not in the sense of us being in subservient neediness operating from lack, but in acknowledging our infinite value that we are thrilled to share.

We give to nourish our expanding networks, which we know will, in turn, sustain us. As connected creatures, we see that this is the order of nature and things.

We set an example as a leader who inspires others with a willingness to let go of the obsession with themselves.

In addition to using service as a means to distract ourselves from ourselves, we can use a related and powerful mode of being that brings passion and aliveness in me when I remember to do it. It allows me to transcend resistance to life with more consistency.

That is to direct a lovingness towards…

Everything and everyone.


Well. Yes.

This is the art of meeting resistance, self-sabotage, anxiety or fear with a lightness, a friendliness, a letting go into acceptance — all variations of love.

And this can happen with the really bad stuff too. That’s not to say you agree with evil acts. It’s to approach these things, and everything, without the propensity to react in a whirlwind of emotion.

In this way we are in a much better state of being to act when action is required.

We must allow our hearts to open; to create pathways for energy to run through us, instead of closing up to moments that remind us of stuff we hate.

We are full of blocked energy from our past to which we hold on tightly as protection. All we need to do is open up and direct love at resistance and what feels like fear, and we can be free of those blocks.

To experience more joy, we must be capable of accepting and loving it all.

We can see everything as a teacher; as a source of wisdom, and we can be thankful for it all.

If we close ourselves to things, Michael A. Singer says in his book ‘The Untethered Soul,’ we create resistance and energy blocks, that make us suffer.

We don’t want this. It’s an idea that takes courage, but we can be open and friendly to it all. Not to encourage bad things, but to let it pass through you. This is the very essence of the phrase: ‘going with the flow.’

With a simple letting go, and a willingness NOT to close, we allow innate energy from within to rush through us, aiding in our creativity, and allowing us to experience life on an entirely new plane that most of us will ever know.

I know, you might be thinking that this is all unrealistic and silly, and over the top.

But I encourage you to try.

I am speaking as much to myself here because whenever I have let go of closing, amazing things have happened.

When I don’t resist life, well — I don’t feel much resistance at all.

I always thought that resistance and stress were out of my control and inevitable parts of existence.

But with a gentle lovingness directed at all things, especially those things that previously brought me angst, I can see that I create every aspect of my reality.

You might find — in fact, I know you’ll find — things that once phased you, suddenly lose their hold on you, allowing you to experience a tremendous sense of relief, and even bliss.

Start today.

Love what is by being present. Notice all the details. Allow yourself to open your heart to everything and everyone even if it smarts initially.

Drop your shoulders for a minute and take a breath.

Approach the things that often stress you with a welcoming smile.

It starts with you.

If these ideas stirred something in you, I’d love to read your comment below. I read them all.

To learn more about what I do, subscribe to special extra content, and to speak with me, connect here.


Originally published at on January 16, 2020.



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Alex Mathers

I write about psychology, writing and creativity. Free book: '12 habits of mentally strong people' ⮕