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Ten tiny behaviour shifts you can make that will make people strangely drawn to you

I could fill many boxes with stacks of lists documenting all the times I did something awkward or pushed others away.

Alex Mathers
4 min readAug 24, 2024

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The funny thing I learned is that social awkwardness is actually a sign you care about others. You want to get it right. You want to be accepted.

Thankfully, years of blunders taught me a lot about human behaviour and what works.

Here are some ways to positively influence others so they are drawn to you:

Stop trying to be someone you are not.

Fakeness can be smelt like fox shit on a labrador who’s been rolling in it.

The cool thing about this is you’re now free of all the pressure that comes with thinking of a hundred clever things to say that you would never have said in the first place.

Force less and watch your confidence appear.

Be a ‘take your time’ mover.

Move with the pace of a sloth on Valium.

Ok, maybe a little quicker than that.

It’s not just about taking your time; it’s about making every action deliberate. You’re not just walking; you’re gliding through life.

This pace gives you more time to think, calms everyone around you, and demonstrates that you don’t rush for anyone.

Give compliments like no one else.

Give specific and unexpected compliments, like commenting on someone’s choice of socks.

It might be weird and make you feel a little exposed, but it shows you’re paying attention to the details others miss.

People love this, and it shows how perceptive you can be.

Occasionally slip into the shadows.

Occasionally, disappear. Not in a dramatic, “I’m off to find myself” way, but in a “I might be here, I might not” kind of way.

It’s like playing hide and seek with your social circle. They’ll wonder if you’ve become a monk to pursue the…

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Alex Mathers
Alex Mathers

Written by Alex Mathers

Helping you develop uncommon confidence and authentic leadership. Triple your productivity today using my checklist when you subscribe: https://alexmathers.co/

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