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Ten things I did to become calmer as I got older

Alex Mathers
4 min readDec 2, 2023


(Without taking pills or selling my soul to the devil)

I was a pretty nervous dude in my youth.

But I’ve put a lot of time and energy into calming down.

Some stuff didn’t work at all and made me more uptight. But a lot did help.

Here are some things that I do that keep me pretty chill and enjoying life:

I focused more on work, projects and pursuits that brought me to life.

When I found myself in fascinating work like drawing and writing (and writing stuff I actually cared about), I was in flow more of the time.

This profoundly affected stilling my mind and transferring those high-energy effects to all areas of life.

I learned the subtle art of not being a little whiny bitch.

This sounds crass and awfully politically incorrect — and indeed, it is. But it also works.


Because it reflects wisdom that has travelled through the ages: when we stop focusing on what we dislike around us, practice non-resistance and just take action, we’re literally empowering ourselves.

Stop freaking whining.

I learned to take my thoughts less seriously.

I wish I had known earlier how much bollocks are contained in thoughts.

Too many of us take them as gospel truths on how life should be lived. How about no.

Thoughts are just approximations, and not ONE of them needs to be listened to.

I Incorporated more walking and weight-lifting into my week.

When I exercise, oxygen flows more effectively through my bloodstream.

Endorphins increase.

My mood lifts.

A week without exercise makes my body feel stagnant, and that’s when the stress and anxiety arise.

I stopped looking for validation from other people.