Six traits of people who are immune to deception from other people
--
I’d love to say we live in a world in which everyone is totally honest, and no one is out to deceive you intentionally.
If this were true, we’d all be living on Neptune.
People have motives that require you to stumble for them to win.
It can be dog-eat-dog out there.
But there are things I’ve learned we can do to reduce the risk of being deceived or manipulated by others:
1. They value integrity over getting approval from other people.
Wanting to be liked is a very human trait that gets a lot of people in trouble.
Needing validation puts you in a precarious position.
Why?
Because the actions of other people determine your happiness and even behaviours.
People immune to deception value integrity, truth and honesty over this insatiable need to be liked.
As such, they are ok to say things that not everyone wants to hear, and they are willing to hear things from others that don’t always feel good.
They look beyond ‘niceness’ in others, knowing that this can often be a ruse to misdirect them from what’s really going on.
2. Observe actions, not words.
Manipulation thrives in the thick, shady world of words, verbal assurances, and labels.
Words are only ever approximations of the truth; in many cases, they act as misdirections.
Follow people’s actions, not what they say.
Manipulatable people underestimate the power of accurate observation — that which is rooted to what people do, not what they say they’ll do.
3. Accept the darker side of human nature.
You needn’t become cynical to understand that not everything is rosy about human behaviour.
You are far more susceptible to falling prey to deceptions when you are unwilling to see things for what they are.
