Years of awkward dates, stunted relationships and lost clients have taught me much.
Draw people to you by incorporating these tips into your relationships:
1. Be present.
People will find it difficult to forget you when you do what most do not: actually be there with a person.
Look at them in the eye without psycho staring, leave your phone alone, listen fully, and allow a kind of tension to build through your electric ‘being there.’
The beauty of this is there is little pressure on you to do or be anything, which calms you further.
Bring the power of presence.
2. Be edgy.
This requires care, but you will stand out if you can broach topics that most do not.
Avoid religion, politics and controversial stuff in most cases. I’m talking more about saying things that require some courage but ultimately serve all parties.
Say the hard thing. If it makes you a little nervous — this is the direction. Acknowledge the ‘elephant’ in the room.
Be the guy who says what people are only thinking. People respect this a lot if it’s pulled off well. Over to you.
3. Occasional vulnerability.
People rarely bond with others with whom they cannot relate. If there is nothing to connect you, there will be no bond and certainly no attraction.
To reveal small details about aspects of you that aren’t immediately attractive IS attractive.
How you were a shy kid, for example. This encourages others to be themselves and relax.
Don’t spend the whole conversation telling us about your haemorrhoids.
Be sparing — this is enough to demonstrate your humanity. People love humans, not flawless, robotic beings.
4. Release your inner child.
Many of us developed a rigidity as we moved into adulthood.
We took some hits in life and lost the playful cheekiness of youth.