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Seven things barely anyone does that will attract people to you

Alex Mathers
4 min readNov 5, 2023


I’ve learned that a significant part of attraction is rooted in standing out from the crowd.

There’s something irresistible and even mysterious when we do things differently to most.

That doesn’t mean that everything we do that’s different will attract others.

Here are some examples of things most people avoid that are often highly attractive to others:

Don’t interrupt.

Such a simple thing. But it’s not easy to do.

Many don’t even realise it when they do it, but they interrupt, not to be intentionally rude, but often out of insecurity.

When we interrupt, we inadvertently signal our sense of inadequacy.

We want to be seen. So we undermine the attention others are getting to steal back some for ourselves.

This is low-status activity and will lose you respect.

Give people space. This is what leaders do.

They are in no rush and are totally happy for others to be in the limelight.

Become a master at something specific.

Developing a higher-than-average level of skill for something isn’t common.

It demonstrates perseverance and grit that many don’t have.

Whether it’s mastering juggling or reaching higher echelons of achievement as an artist, teacher, dancer, writer, or sailor, this all emphasises your stand-out quality.

Reaching higher skill levels is attractive to many in a similar way as reaching celebrity status can.

Exhibit an unexpected aspect of your appearance.

Being a little different at the surface level of appearance needn’t mean walking around like a goofy freak gimmick.

Subtlety wins here, especially in a world where everyone is tripping over themselves to stand out with an over-emphasis on appearance.

Wear something that interrupts the expectation others might have of someone like you.