No, you don’t need to have gone through hardship to be happy

Alex Mathers
4 min readApr 12, 2024

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I see people talking about how the kindest, friendliest, happiest people are often those who went through loads of misery.

’They’ve seen things.’

’Only those who’ve been to the dark side can truly know life.’

People say that what we’ve ‘been through’ will directly influence who we are today.

I do believe, however, that this is simply a load of rubbish.

Absolutely — many genuine, lovely people went through many struggles in their lives.

And it’s beautiful to see.

(Note: find me one person who hasn’t gone through some kind of significant ‘trauma’ or hardship by the time they’re 20. I’ll wait).

But to suggest that you must have gone through hell to be happy or in some way more genuine is — frankly — bollocks.

The exact same thing applies to the equally popular concept that if we go through a complicated past, we’re in some way bound to these experiences, and they will forever tarnish or colour our present experience and enjoyment.

Uh, no.

Stop the nonsense. It’s decreasing your intelligence and limiting you.

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Alex Mathers
Alex Mathers

Written by Alex Mathers

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