Nine cheeky little hacks that draw people to you (and they won’t know why)

Alex Mathers
4 min readJun 16, 2024

I spent most of my life wanting to connect better with people.

I hated leaving a meeting and feeling like I said the wrong thing or that I’d lost a potential friendship because of something I did or didn’t do.

I couldn’t figure out how to improve this for a long time. I’d look at others who seemed to make friends effortlessly and feel a pang of sadness.

Through years of people-watching and mistake-making, there is much I’ve learned.

Here are some ways to improve your chances of successfully connecting with others:

Don’t be so nice.

There’s a difference between using a ‘nice’ demeanour to maintain harmony and being genuinely pleasant around people.

The former is often a subtly manipulative tactic used to avoid being hurt. But this won’t do you favours if you want an authentic connection.

Instead of being nice, dare to be real.

Be kind, yes. But also be open to expressing your opinion if it doesn’t always gain approval. Smile when you want to smile.

Being nice all the time when it doesn’t reflect your inner reality is draining, and others will sense this.

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