I was looking at a blank page and wanted to cry gently.
I’ve been here a hundred times before.
Showing up to create in public, especially when you feel tired and burned out, is not easy.
This is that moment when ‘writing pays my bills, so I must continue’ doesn’t cut it.
I’m running on empty.
But I am not who I was five years ago.
Years of pains like these have provided me with an arsenal of soothing’ medicines.’
I now know, for example, that moments like these aren’t (necessarily) calling for escape.
Sell all my belongings and live in a treehouse without wifi.
Sail a dinghy across the Atlantic.
Not today.
Today, I just need some fuel.
The oven is down to dull embers.
I dig through the memory banks of what has frustrated me or made me straight-up angry recently.
And there it is.
Anger is fuel that helps you fly when you want to avoid showing up.
Most people overlook anger.
They believe it’s toxic and something to cut out of one’s creative process.
