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If you often feel bad about other people’s success, you need to do these three things today

Alex Mathers
4 min readDec 10, 2023


You don’t need to pretend you don’t get frustrated, depressed or even enraged when seeing someone else succeed.

I used to be smothered by my frustrations and tantrums.

It’s human and indicates some interesting things about you and your drives.

I experience this triggering today differently to before.

Now — once the initial wave of emotion has washed over me…

1. I get curious.

I ask, ‘What about this got to me?’

‘What could this be showing me?’

What we’re doing here is looking for the glimmer of gold inside the emotion.

When we flip our interpretation of our response to other people’s success to a positive, we put ourselves on the front foot.

We find a way to be energised by it.

You can’t not.

‘I’m angry that Jason gets more likes than me on Twitter.’


Because I want to do well. I want to know that people enjoy my work. I want to connect and make an impact. I have high standards for myself. I know I can change the world.

Ok, that’s better.

Perfectly commendable reasons for getting annoyed sit at the heart of it.

And so, we can find some self-compassion.

We step out of the uncomfortable sense that we’re a bad person.

That’s important.

What’s next?

2. Well, we ask, ‘how can I USE this energy?’

When we’re upset, we always have a choice.

We can eat ourselves from the inside and enter into a joyless downward spiral.

We can throw our toys out of the pram, grab the nearest bottle of whiskey, and self-sabotage ourselves further.

Or we can take option B:

We can use this aggressive energy to tighten, improve and hone our next steps.