Look at you, scrolling twitter, hundreds of followers, super connected.
World at your fingertips. 3.7 degrees away from anyone on the planet.
Face lit up blue glow in the dim light of your bedroom.
And yet, you feel alone. At least some of the time.
You may even feel alone in a crowd.
Being alone is one thing, but feeling alone is something different.
What does it mean, to feel alone?
I’ve learned for myself, it’s essentially this:
We think we need another to feel whole.
We hold this thought, and we apply a pressure to our lives.
Or some variation thereof:
‘I am not appreciated the way I want to be.’
‘They don’t respect me enough.’
‘I need higher levels of social validation.’
‘I wish my words were heard.’
‘I wish I wasn’t so different.’
You entertain these thoughts, and you feel the power of them in your gut.
‘I’m all alone.’
So you open up your app again looking for a cure to this sense of lack in your soul.
‘Maybe someone liked my tweet.’
‘Maybe I receive that life-affirming email.’
‘This way I won’t feel so alone anymore.’
‘I know, I’ll message Sally. Maybe her response will spark me into feeling whole — connected again…’
But the feeling soon fades.
And you’re back in your dark room, alone again.
Let’s look at what feeling ‘alone’ really means:
It is to feel your judgements about what you need to be happy.
You are the only force at play here.
You are creating an ‘alone’ reality.
The more you reflect on this, you begin to see that aloneness is really a choice.
You see that you already have everything you think you need from other people.