How to start reducing social nervousness today

Alex Mathers


I’ve had unnecessary social anxiety for most of my life.

I have had anxiety around people to the extent that I would forget how to speak, and have blind spots and tunnel vision in meetings.

Because it has been with me for so long, I’ve often believed that I would never be without it. That it was ‘just the way I was.’

Being unnecessarily fearful around people is, well, unnecessary.

Social anxiety affects many of us, and, with the proliferation of high stimulus online engagement and other factors, it seems to be getting more profound.

I’m not entirely ‘free’ of it. I know that some social fear is a normal part of being human.

However, it’s the irrational, over-the-top, gut-wrenching anxiety that is useless. It’s just stupid.

We believe our monsters, and it only blocks us from our full potential.

I know I will get to a point where all unnecessary social anxiety will be gone.


Because of how far I’ve come.

Because I’ve spent years eagerly figuring out how to be free of what has felt like a ‘debilitating condition.’

Because I’ve seen what works, and I’m intimately familiar with what makes it worse.

I’ve discussed before how, to get over anxiety, we must turn away from ourselves and focus on improving the lives of those people who matter.

That there is no cure; only a re-direction of our focus.

This is true. There is no ‘cure.

I’d also like to add some further ideas for, specifically, social anxiety.

Most suggestions about how to ‘fix’ our social anxiety are devoid of motion/action/movement:

‘Meditate for hours daily.’

‘Repeat affirmations that you are confident.’


‘Just relax and be yourself.’

‘Take that pill.’

‘Think differently.’

‘Be present.’

‘Talk about your sad childhood with a therapist.’