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Eleven little things you can do that make others want to listen to you
Ever get frustrated that people don’t seem to pay you attention?
I’ve been there many times, and it sucks.
That’s why I’ve spent years studying the art of authority, communication and leadership. I’ve also learned a ton as a coach, working with hundreds of people in direct conversation.
The skill of garnering rapt attention to what you’re saying is becoming rare, but it will help you make a tremendous impact in the world.
Here’s how to ensure people take note, prick their ears, and listen up:
Don’t get angry or overly emotional.
Did you ever try to get someone to do what you wanted by raising your voice, shouting or acting out of annoyed aggression?
Unlikely. People resist anger because it is not controlled. It reflects a chaotic and insecure state, which others can’t respect.
If you’re triggered, take a breath, and always speak from a place of measured calm.
In a panel debate, the most erratically emotional speaker rarely garners the most attention and respect.
Make your words count.
Don’t dilute the power and meaning behind your words by saying more than you need.
When we use more words than is necessary to make a point, the value of any one word diminishes.
Measured, controlled talking makes people hang on to your words because they know they are scarce, and scarcity is valuable.
Speak slower.
There is a place for faster talking if the person you are with has a higher rate of speaking.
You might do this to align your tempo to maintain rapport. But usually, speaking fast reflects imbalance.
You’re rushing your words out of insecurity or an unwillingness to be in the spotlight. Respected speakers take their time.
They own their space.
This emphasises their higher status in the room, and people will respond accordingly.
