Eight uncomfortable truths about why some people are instantly likeable

Alex Mathers
4 min readJan 18, 2025

I spent years watching people who seemed to make friends without trying.

The kind of people others are drawn to immediately, almost magnetically.

What I discovered made me a little uncomfortable. Because it wasn’t what any of the social skill books told me.

Here are some unexpected things that make people more likeable:

1. They make others feel slightly off-balance

Most people try to make others comfortable all the time.

But I’ve noticed the most likeable people often do the opposite. They create tiny moments of uncertainty.

They might pause a beat too long before responding. Or say something slightly unexpected. Or react in a way you didn’t anticipate.

They’ll break a pattern just when you think you’ve figured them out.

This slight unpredictability makes others lean in, pay attention, and want more.

2. They’re willing to be disliked

Ever notice this?

⮕ The most likeable people are often most comfortable with being disliked.

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Alex Mathers
Alex Mathers

Written by Alex Mathers

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