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7 tips for quickly taking you from people pleaser to self-led legend

4 min readJul 5, 2025

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I recently tweeted:

“If you’re compelled to do things you don’t want to do to make others happy at the expense of your energy, you’re still a slave.”

This gives some insight into the draining nature of people-pleasing and why this is not the life for you.

Simply put, people-pleasing is a compensating behaviour reflecting a fear of abandonment or rejection, often taking root in childhood.

All of us, to some degree, exhibit these behaviours.

And, whatever the source of this imbalance, there are things you can do to offset this subtle form of entrapment:

[1] Know that you are already whole in the absence of self-critical thoughts.

Let that sink in for a second. The minute you stop judging yourself, you experience pure self-belief.

There it is, you just grabbed it. Liquid gold.

It’s there by default. And when we have this unshakeable confidence, there is no need to try to please others to gain external validation…because the validation is already clearly apparent within yourself.

[2] Don’t buy into the false thoughts of who you…

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Alex Mathers
Alex Mathers

Written by Alex Mathers

Helping free-thinking creators build sovereign, peaceful, and resilient lives. Triple your productivity today using my checklist: https://alexmathers.co/