11 lesser-known habits of loveable people who aren’t pushovers

I had a phase in my life when I believed being likeable meant being nice to everyone.

It took me getting burned a few times to learn that being ‘nice’ doesn’t always equate to being attractive, respected or likeable.

It also took some soul-searching to see that people-pleasing is often simply a manipulative strategy.

Aware people sniff this out.

Over many years, I learned that some people can be loveable or likeable while still not being doormats.

Here are some findings on how to emulate their behaviours:

1. Say no without apologising or explaining.

When they can’t do something, they simply say ‘I can’t make that work’ or ‘That doesn’t work for me.’

There are no elaborate excuses, guilt-riddled apologies, or over-explaining.

This directness feels refreshing rather than rude because it’s delivered calmly and without drama.

People respect the clarity and stop pushing.

2. Call out bad behaviour with curiosity instead of anger.