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11 behaviours that make people respect you more

Alex Mathers
4 min readAug 9, 2023


I’ve learned a lot about human behaviour through years of awkwardness.

People don’t need to know very much about you to make a snap judgement about the kind of person you are.

You can take advantage of this by making a few subtle shifts in your everyday behaviour.

These will improve the perception people have of you:

1. Sharpen up your physical appearance.

We can’t change how we came out of the womb, but we can maximise our appearance.

There’s a reason you feel better after a haircut or a manicure.

What does it say about you? Looking at a body we like in the mirror makes a difference.

We might claim that caring about how we look is shallow, but deep down you know it’s key, and will alter the perception others have of you greatly.

That’s nature. It’s reality.

Your resistance to this will keep you miserable.

2. Emotional control.

If you are quick to react with anger, you lose respect.

Avoiding this is to nurture what I call ‘the Gap.’

Reactive people have tiny gaps, meaning they don’t create any space between a triggering stimulus and their emotional response.

Non-reactive people command tremendous respect because they have nurtured gaps wide enough to allow any tension in themselves to dissipate.

3. Stop always being available.

You don’t always need to respond to that text. You don’t always need to smile, laugh or get back to people.

You shouldn’t be always available, and your real-life can reflect this. It can’t be an act.

It is a sense of scarcity that creates the perception of high value. Create a life that makes you and your time scarce.

What impression does ALWAYS being available transmit?

That’s right.

You have little self-respect, you aren’t focused on your own stuff, you aren’t in high demand, and you probably don’t have a mission — people will…