This illustration was made by Jake AI — a lovely chap with sim cards for teeth.

10 simple behaviours that give you rock-solid self-respect

Alex Mathers
4 min readMay 25


Many people ask me how they can be more respected.

They hate the pain of feeling ignored and disregarded.

But this always sets off a red flag for me, because it reminds me of how I used to be when I was depressed.

You instantly lose when you expect

What I learned over many years of struggle:

To gain respect you must become someone who genuinely respects themselves.

This comes from a combination of doing things that bring self-respect and ‘acting as-if,’ which leads to an upward spiral of confidence.

Here are some examples that are simple but not necessarily easy:

Regularly do things that frighten you.

Fear isn’t always an indication of what to avoid.

In fact, unless it’s a charging rhino, most fears you have are signs of what TO do.

When you take courage, you feel the aliveness in your soul.

Slow down your speech and movements.

Here’s an example of one of the ‘act as if’ behaviours that has a powerful impact on your sense of self-respect.

When we consciously slow down, we silence the part of us that is rushing in fear.

We mould ourselves into the kind of person who takes their time, because they are confident in their ability.

Make yourself occasionally scarce.

When we say YES to everyone, we infringe on our personal space and freedom.

You might enjoy the brief high pleasing others, but ultimately you lose your self-respect, when the balance becomes skewed.

Honour yourself first, and have this reflected in the boundaries you set.

Become consistent in something useful.

Someone once said something that changed my entire thinking about fulfilment:

It’s about knowing you are becoming increasingly useful.



Alex Mathers

Helping you develop mental strength, write better, and grow your brand. Regular tips: